Well the three years are finally up – and I can’t quite believe it. Didn’t get the result I wanted, so feel extremely disappointed in myself. My parents and friends are proud of me, and I know I should be myself but I’m just not. I think it is an underlying flaw within in me that I set very high standards for myself and probably others around me. When disappointment strikes I find it extremely difficult to over come – so after three years extremely hard work, I don’t think this disappointed will be easily evaporate.
I’m still waiting on my tutor to have tutorial with me in order for me to understand what I did wrong – a kind of guilty pleasure like me looking at snakes when I now they terrify me, it almost verifies my fears. I also feel I need this to give me a boost and bring back a lot of confidence I’ve lost. I’m entering Suffolk Young Artists this year, but due to my grade, I feel worried about exhibiting work encase I get knocked back again. Onwards and upwards I know….positive feeling will come I promise!
My final degree show piece was a performance with an actor in order to discuss what art is. It was a jokey and comical seminar session aimed at you being able to buy the skills necessary to effectively view art. Disaster struck on the day of assessment when the actor failed to turn up and it genuinely thought that was it and my degree was over!! Another attempt and I hired two different actors – although both very successful, it wasn’t what I originally planned. The original actor did however turn up on the Private View and relief swept me, although the tutors never so the ‘right’ performance. 
I am pleased with the work, however I think my result has blackened my actual view of the work. Hindsight is an awful thing, and I think I am being testament to this. However, I know I will attempt to make the most of the situation and it will only push me further in everything else I dream to pursue.
For more work, please look at my website www.aidanjames.co.uk
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